Sunday, April 11, 2010

Is God Merciful?

"Mundus facit nos redire, redire ad secessum". "The world makes me return, return to solitude".

The opening lines of a song by Draconian, my favourite band. The song is aptly titled "Reversio Ad Secessum". I've just got my cellphone back from the Nokia factory in Delhi. After some repairs. For the past week I was alone. Without the constant companionship of my beloved Nokia 5310. My cherished Draconian. And that week made me revisit some thoughts.

Exactly what is the purpose of this life? I mean it not in that overly philosophical sense that attempts to delve into the deeper meaning of Life. No. I mean if we are all going to pass into non-existence ultimately, then why strive so hard to achieve success. Why can't we just sit back for a little while, take our beloved into our arms, make love through our eyes and words and then continue with our useless existence. Why haven't we learnt to put our crazy and brazen demands for success on hold for a bit.

Then there were the attacks on the Moscow trains last week too. By some Chechen female suicide bombers. All in the name of the supreme cause of Islam. (I don't intend to defame any particular religion.) God supposedly looks down upon His children. With love and affection. He takes care of them. If that is so, then why do we have to defend his existence with our own? Why does a kid from some obscure part of the Russian Federation, or some remote village in Pakistan or Afghanistan, or a small town in Ireland have to put down his books and pick up a gun? Is God so feeble that He needs the help of such despicable and dastardly deeds to defend His existence and furnish us with proof of His divine existence.

And then there are the cases of child molestation in Europe by clergymen. Well..... Pretty appalling to me. I mean these are the people who serve God. Their acts are representative of the will of God. They are meant to act as medium between us mortals and The Great Father. Surely not a post meant for such lowlifes. Oh sure the Pope apologized etcetera. But what's done is done. Tis a funny world.

You may be wondering what does my cellphone and Draconian have to do with these two or three incidents. Well, Draconian is a "Satanic-Gothic-Depressive Metal" band. They talk of the futility of this pathetic existence. The heartlessness of God. The despondence of the believers. One stanza from "Heaven Laid In Tears" stands out beautifully.

"I've seen us bathing in blood to defend his very glory.
I've seen us kneel and praise for nothing.
I've seen him dying in our eyes.
I've realized that God owes us his life."

It is supposedly said by Lucifer coaxing others to join Him against God, but the implied meaning is not hard to see.

Thus, in this one week, I didn't have Draconian with me to say all these things unto me, but the deeds of God's Defendants were a more than able substitute for that.

Lets see what God has in store for us now.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The First Battle Of This Year

For the past 2 weeks, the Sun has been beating down mercilessly on the streets and alleys of Bombay. Unwavering in its intensity. Burning us. Cooking us. Nowhere are we safe from this beast. Nothing we do can keep its heat at bay for long. His assault is relentless and horribly strong. Every morning I wake up to find him looking into my room trying to pry open the dark corners and spaces. I HATE him!!!! He has no right peering into other people's rooms.

The powerful, fiery, feisty ball of fusing hydrogen..... Often lovers are quoted to swear by the constancy of the Sun. To bask in its warmth is the idyllic dream of every troubled soul in literature. The heat of that orb is supposedly desired by all those who are ailing and diseased. He is all seeing, powerful and mighty. His might is unchallenged. Life would not exist without him.

"Too much power corrupts all", they say. The crooked Sun is no exception. I have no doubt that once he was a humble courtier of God. God took a liking to him and granted him the power of sustaining Life. And that was the power that corrupted him. He thinks of himself as above everyone else. Look at the way he stares at us weaklings. Burning us in his fiery fury. Skin scorches. Heads swim. Many lose their life. So that which he was to sustain, he takes away in a "flash". And he continues to smile sadistically down at us. "Hahaha!!!! Weaklings!!! Do what you can, you can't escape!!!", he leers. And we submit to his fiery rage. We succumb to his fire and heat. We lose and put our heads down.

But wait.... What is that I see? A dark cloud? Is it?!!! Yes indeed!!! Tis said that all dark clouds were made by Satan to block the rays of the Sun and to be subversive against God's kingdom. Has Lucifer come to grant us salvation from the unjust justice prevailing in God's kingdom? Have His armies finally arrived? Are we saved? Must we greet our saviour and prepare to overthrow the tyrannic God? Will there finally be true justice? Will our true worth be realized after eons of writhing in God's realm?

Lo and behold!!! A large mass of dark cloud had gathered across the sky as I watched. Twas but 1730 hrs. Not time yet for sunset (Ahh!!! What a truly beautiful and serene time that is!!! Finally the tyrant rests for the night!!!), so this indeed was a good sign. The armies of Lucifer gathered up in the Heavens above. Battle was imminent. The first charge came from His army. His general, Abbadon, having risen from his pit led the first charge unto the Enemy. It was repelled. And one after the other Astaroth, Samael (who finally cast aside our doubts about his loyalty) and the others came up and led the armies of Lucifer into battle against God's most trusted General, the Sun.

The battle was fierce, but the Sun triumphed. But it was a narrow victory. Very nearly did His armies deal a deathly blow to God's favourite. The battle will serve both purposes. It will embolden the "Rebels" and strike fear and doubt in the hearts of God's forces. After the battle Sun looked worn and tired. Almost tamed. No longer was he sneering at us. No longer was there a killing touch to his heat. He seemed almost mortal. Tame. He retired slightly earlier than usual.

Tomorrow he will come with renewed vigor and rage two-fold that of his usual. But we will have hope from now on. For if the summer has come, can the dark clouds of rain be too far behind?

HAIL LUCIFER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

An Apology

For the past two nights, we've been having arguments, fights and debates. Not one night did we spend just "talking". Always it so happens that either of us loses control of his/her temper. And mostly its been me. But still, looking back, I have no regrets. I loved each and every bit of those fights.

It started off when she called me "immature". I so DETESTED that!!!! And obviously I contested. Then we patched up. The next night, I rip her temper off by saying something about a certain TV program. And when that was barely under control (about 20-30 minutes later), I did it again by saying, "Honey, are we doing the right thing? I mean, are we rushing through?" Oh boy!!!! What a STUPID thing to say!!!! What followed is something I never want to go through again. It was BAD!!!! Very very bad!!!! Took me a whole 40 minutes to get that past.

And all these things made me sleep uneasily. As I lay there twisting and turning, I kept thinking about all that I'd said. About how I'd never meant anything bad. I don't know if she was convinced enough after I'd said my apology. I don't know. But just in case she isn't, I'm writing this.

My darling, you're the first one who has given me emotions I never knew existed. My honey, you're the first girl who I know, can look me in the eye and tell me, "I think this is not how its supposed to be done." You're the one girl I crave to hold in my arms. I am dying to hold you in my arms, to look into your gorgeous brown eyes and to TRY and tell you how much I love you. Sweetheart, I don't know how to say this, but its true. I can't live without you and I can't even die without you. Don't leave me alone darling. Please don't. I can't think of life without your constant chatter. Without your tender caress. Without your thoughtful love. Without your laughter. Without your eyes. Without your lips. Without your mind. If these were taken away from me now, I'd be worse than dead. You are the reason that I live. You can't imagine my situation if you were to leave me. We'll NEVER put this on hold. I can't do it. EVER. Just can't.

I know I can be a total JERK sometimes. I of all people would know that. But sweetie, don't ever doubt my love for you. It kills me to hear you hurt. I NEVER want to hurt you. How can I bring myself to do it?!!! I can't!!! Dearest, I know I've hurt you many times over the past few days, but please darling, don't be harsh on me. I love you dearest. I can't imagine anything without thinking about you.

I remember you saying that I can put my thoughts better in the written word than in the spoken. I think not. For these words are painfully hollow when compared to the emotional outbursts that I am going through. I know you've forgiven me last night. I know it sweetie. But still, I wanted to give you a slight idea of exactly what I'm going through. But this isn't enough....... On the 15th of May, I'll tell you somethings you've never heard anyone say..... I promise you that..... And I also promise that I'll never joke in that manner ever again.....

Yours truly,
The Dark Knight.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Dark Side Of Light

Well... My first blog.... I won't waste much time about what an experience this can be, and what I expect from it, and what my life has been thus far.... Nada.... That's utter bullshit according to me.... But yes, my "dear readers" are indeed entitled to know two things:

What made litter cyberspace with my "thoughts"?
2. What the eff is the meaning of the title of my blog?

Well, firstly, this was a long time coming. But the final blow came on Thursday... or was it Friday... whatever... on either of these two days... A friend of mine on Orkut egged me on to do this... So, all those who feel sick after reading my blogs and posts, he's to blame.... Not me.... :P.... But yeah, it'd have come on anyways.....

And the title.... "The Dark Side Of Light"... You see, I've always been obsessed with Darkness..... always.... So, when the thought of having my own blog first germinated in my otherwise barren, for lack of a better word, mind, the obvious choice was something related to Darkness. But then where the fuck did "Light" creep in. Well, dear reader, you have someone else to blame for that (interesting how swiftly I get myself off the guillotine every time, isn't it? ;) :D). So, that person responsible for getting "Light" into the picture is my best half, Ms. Smriti Prabhat. But well, if you say anything to her, you'd get me offended real bad. And I've been led to believe that is not very favourable for the other party. Anyways, she "hates it" when I call myself dark et al. So, as a saving grace I added "Light". (But yes, I've had my way with the URL. "iamthelightbearer"..... That makes me Lucifer.... Muhuhahaha!!!!! Sorry love, just couldn't resist the temptation.... Sorry princess...) And besides, its awfully eye-catching, isn't it? "The Dark Side Of Light".... Ohh!!!! Wonder what THAT is?!!! :P :D :D....

I know I tripe and drivel a lot, but so do we all.... :P... Me the most, quite obviously.... But yeah, the bright side is that I don't find time enough to some online and litter cyberspace with my "thoughts"...... So folks, that'll be all for the moment.... See ya around next time... Brace yourselves....