Saturday, March 13, 2010

An Apology

For the past two nights, we've been having arguments, fights and debates. Not one night did we spend just "talking". Always it so happens that either of us loses control of his/her temper. And mostly its been me. But still, looking back, I have no regrets. I loved each and every bit of those fights.

It started off when she called me "immature". I so DETESTED that!!!! And obviously I contested. Then we patched up. The next night, I rip her temper off by saying something about a certain TV program. And when that was barely under control (about 20-30 minutes later), I did it again by saying, "Honey, are we doing the right thing? I mean, are we rushing through?" Oh boy!!!! What a STUPID thing to say!!!! What followed is something I never want to go through again. It was BAD!!!! Very very bad!!!! Took me a whole 40 minutes to get that past.

And all these things made me sleep uneasily. As I lay there twisting and turning, I kept thinking about all that I'd said. About how I'd never meant anything bad. I don't know if she was convinced enough after I'd said my apology. I don't know. But just in case she isn't, I'm writing this.

My darling, you're the first one who has given me emotions I never knew existed. My honey, you're the first girl who I know, can look me in the eye and tell me, "I think this is not how its supposed to be done." You're the one girl I crave to hold in my arms. I am dying to hold you in my arms, to look into your gorgeous brown eyes and to TRY and tell you how much I love you. Sweetheart, I don't know how to say this, but its true. I can't live without you and I can't even die without you. Don't leave me alone darling. Please don't. I can't think of life without your constant chatter. Without your tender caress. Without your thoughtful love. Without your laughter. Without your eyes. Without your lips. Without your mind. If these were taken away from me now, I'd be worse than dead. You are the reason that I live. You can't imagine my situation if you were to leave me. We'll NEVER put this on hold. I can't do it. EVER. Just can't.

I know I can be a total JERK sometimes. I of all people would know that. But sweetie, don't ever doubt my love for you. It kills me to hear you hurt. I NEVER want to hurt you. How can I bring myself to do it?!!! I can't!!! Dearest, I know I've hurt you many times over the past few days, but please darling, don't be harsh on me. I love you dearest. I can't imagine anything without thinking about you.

I remember you saying that I can put my thoughts better in the written word than in the spoken. I think not. For these words are painfully hollow when compared to the emotional outbursts that I am going through. I know you've forgiven me last night. I know it sweetie. But still, I wanted to give you a slight idea of exactly what I'm going through. But this isn't enough....... On the 15th of May, I'll tell you somethings you've never heard anyone say..... I promise you that..... And I also promise that I'll never joke in that manner ever again.....

Yours truly,
The Dark Knight.

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